Oh Procrastination, I Will Conquer You!!

The days of 2008 are numbered, Thanksgiving and Christmas are past, and still, the day taunts my premature hopes of spring with a tantalizing 71 degrees!! What in the WORLD?!?!

Today, I really don't feel like doing anything short of taking a Rip Van Winkle-esque nap. I woke up this morning thirty minutes before needing to arrive at work, and yet again, got in the door a few minutes late. (This is a frequent vice of mine...) So, as today is a double shift day, I am determined to get there not only on time but at least ten minutes early for my 4:00 shift. But really, getting over a cold while having to deal with drowsiness, my ears popping every few minutes, and a perpetual desire to sneeze (which fails to be satiated) doesn't make me anywhere close to being as motivated as I need to be. So, realistically, will I get to work on time? We'll see...

I feel like a useless lump. But oddly, my mind is somehow awake (otherwise, how on earth would I manage to put words together in a somewhat comprehensive sentence?) whilst my body feels heavier than my pitifully yet-to-be-toned muscles can manoeuver. I feel like sleeping but I probably won't. I could use some piano time, but probably won't have the energy to keep up with my own fingers. I wouldn't mind watching a movie, but I'm not sure I feel like it. I should probably help around the house or do something useful, but as I'm here downstairs on my computer shirking responsibility, I'm obviously not doing that either.

Maybe I should just shrivel up and die.

But I don't have the energy for that either. No, I think I'll just sit here and type away, writing in as many ways thinkable to describe how utterly useless I'm being.

I wish I'd gone running this morning when it's this nice out. I wish I could start on the numerous thank-you notes I owe to the wonderful people who thought to give me Christmas present. I wish I could clean the whole house just for my mom to be relieved of that everyday stress. I wish I could bring myself to learn stick-shift so I could drive my own car. And I wish, I WISH I would stop writing about all this, get off my bum, and just freaking DO it.

Motivation. How am I motivated? Sure wish I knew. I'm certainly not the kind of person who does something because they see the reward sparkling in the sun-rayed distance. And sometimes I'm the person who is motivated by the heat of the fire, by pressure, by deadlines. But even then I seem to procrastinate for as long as I can until there's no time left and I'm stranded with the job that still needs to be done while the time I could have used is buried in the past, which was most likely used for a less productive cause anyway.

So how -- in the event of the useless state I'm currently wallowing in -- does one get up and get out of their own little pity party in the day of action? Everyone has exactly 24 hours in a day -- no more, no less. And yet, many people accomplish astoundingly and profoundly more than others who have the very same time that all those motivated people are allotted. How is this acheived?! What is their secret? Is the key in starting the day on the right foot and going from there? Or is it simply being able to pick oneself up again after even the tiniest fall with the determination of trying again until the desired accomplishment is completed? I'm guessing it must be some kind of combination of both.

Some people are good starters, others are good "middlers," and some are good finishers. As for me? I'm an excellent starter. Give me any task, any challenge, any project and I will gladly start it for you. But follow through and finish it until the end? That takes incredible strength for me. Even getting to the middle of something takes a good deal of self-discipline for me. And granted, this trait doesn't apply to everything in my life, thankfully. As far as going through with things in relationships for example, that remains the biggest exception in my personal makeup. In comparison, I couldn't be more serious about my engagement, or more dedicated to the role I will have as a wife and mother.

But concerning comparitively lesser things in the big picture, I'm having a hard time being motivated right now and getting out the door on time is definitely one of them. Procrastination is somewhat of a talent, one could say, that I have unfortunately mastered over the course of my nineteen years. I still have to consciously battle it, and repeatedly, it creeps up behind my back and thwarts me, exhaustingly time and time again. So, I had best conclude this post, which could quite possibly remain as my only December post (let's pray it isn't), and get ready for work an hour in advance so I get out the door on time.

Cheers to all of you!!

Natalie