I decided I wasn't done blogging for the night. I simply must tell you about this book I'm reading, entitled Escape (no, not my escape, someone else's) by a woman named Carolyn Jessop who is currently in her late thirties, I believe. It's a biogrophy about her life growing up and living in a "radical polygamist cult." Carolyn Blackmore was a mere eighteen when she became the fourth wife to a fifty-year old man named Merril Jessop. And over the next fifteen years, she bore him eight children.
This book absolutely blows my MIND! Can you imagine?! This community is one where the men controlled everything, their wives, their children, and their lives and were always right about everything? These women, and these wives were (and unfortunately, still are) living in slavery "in the name of God." In being a good wife (being entirely submissive to their husband, raising lots of children, conducting their household with utmost decorum, and being considerate toward their husband's other wives and their children who sometimes lived in the same house), these women either died silently under the unbearable pressure of being "the perfect wife" and couldn't breathe a word (even when their husband beat them, because the men were never seen at fault) or rebelled and paid for it. In humiliation and/or physical or mental agony.
It is a RIVETING book. Scary, sure, but positively mind-blowing! WOW! I would be terrified out of my mind to find out that I would be marrying not only a man I hardly knew and knew only enough to know that he was not one of the kinder husbands in the community, but a man thirty-two years my senior!! Goodness! I've got it extraordinarily good! And apparently, Carolyn Jessop wasn't even lucky enough to get used to the idea either (not that that would have been any better, I suppose) since she was arranged to marry him with only two day's warning.
I am hardly a third of the way through this book and cannot believe how page-turning it is already...I will probably be writing more about this in the posts to come. But I had to share my incredulity at reading this far.
In further explanation, this polygamist cult is run by a "prophet," a man who has "been called to do the work of God" in leading the people of the community in the will of the Lord and shielding them from the "evil outsiders of the world." It's positively maddening to me that these powerful men got away with TERRIBLE things, all in the name of God, you understand. Beat your wives, it will teach them obedience and submission, for they must have sinned against you to deserve such a thing -- it is not uncommon. Marry off your daughters to whomever the prophet assigns them to, whether they love them or not, whether they know them or not -- it is God's will for them and the only way they will get to heaven to follow the prophet's command. Marry more than one wife, for the more you have, the more powerful you appear in the society of men in the community. And for goodness sake, silence any woman who questions your authority or threatens to overthrow your control over your family, for she is dangerous and rebellious.
I'm left completely speechless at times, reading this book (which isn't saying very much, since I read silently). But holy GOODNESS!! I would die in a society like that! Wow...I'm more grateful than ever for the ways in which I was raised, for the wonderful parents who have worked so hard to preserve and nurture the good and innocence every child is born with as I've grown up, and for my family and my childhood. I'm so blessed to not only be hopelessly in love with the man I am promised to marry, but blessed that he found me, that he is my perfectly complimentary better half, and finally and most miraculously, that he loves me more dearly than I will ever know. I am SO blessed....wow. I just pity any woman more than ever who is forced into an arranged marriage...
So that's my schpiel of the day! And it's nearly November (in seven minutes), so I'll close with that.
Cheers!
Natalie
Friday, October 31, 2008
And So, October Bids Us Farewell
I absolutely adore October. And this October was no different -- surely one of the most blessed ones in a long while. In general, fall is ultimately my favorite season. The scent of burning leaves signals the hint of autumn to my nose, as the oranges, yellows and scarlets of fluttering leaves that confetti (yes, it's a verb now) the crisp 55-degree air entertain my eyes with a most picturesque vision of the change in season. Ahhh....now I'm missing the vivid New England autumns... but Cincinnati has quite nice ones too. It's just particularly bright in Connecticut this time of year.
With a very fond farewell to October, I am ready for November since Thanksgiving is simply one of the best holidays imaginable. Our Farison tradition for a good while now is to visit our family in Columbus, OH, and have a big dinner with the Launers (our second-cousins on my dad's side,) finished with a family jam session in the music room, which we kids practice for weeks in advance!
It's unbelievable to me how fast these months are going by. I'm remembering more than ever how things were last year at this time, and feeling nostalgic in some ways and moreoverly grateful I'm living in this now in other ways. It sure has been a growing year, and I would never have imagined that I would be living the life I am today. For instance, I am not at the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music for piano performance anymore, (something that would have shocked me to know, had I been informed last year at this time) I am living at home again, working and saving, and am now engaged to the man I was just beginning to fall in love with last year. I can hardly begin think what the coming year holds...I'm sure it is too exciting for me to handle if I was to be aware of it now!
Isn't it exciting to change? Whatever it is -- your attitude about something, the change of scenery, your mental or physical growth or improvement -- anything really! I find that other people changing around me helps me react in kind and grow as well. In this new change, not noticably significant to some -- the next month to come -- I look forward to the present, to the living in the change and growth of every moment that passes by.
And so, farewell October, and until next year!
Cheers!
Natalie
With a very fond farewell to October, I am ready for November since Thanksgiving is simply one of the best holidays imaginable. Our Farison tradition for a good while now is to visit our family in Columbus, OH, and have a big dinner with the Launers (our second-cousins on my dad's side,) finished with a family jam session in the music room, which we kids practice for weeks in advance!
It's unbelievable to me how fast these months are going by. I'm remembering more than ever how things were last year at this time, and feeling nostalgic in some ways and moreoverly grateful I'm living in this now in other ways. It sure has been a growing year, and I would never have imagined that I would be living the life I am today. For instance, I am not at the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music for piano performance anymore, (something that would have shocked me to know, had I been informed last year at this time) I am living at home again, working and saving, and am now engaged to the man I was just beginning to fall in love with last year. I can hardly begin think what the coming year holds...I'm sure it is too exciting for me to handle if I was to be aware of it now!
Isn't it exciting to change? Whatever it is -- your attitude about something, the change of scenery, your mental or physical growth or improvement -- anything really! I find that other people changing around me helps me react in kind and grow as well. In this new change, not noticably significant to some -- the next month to come -- I look forward to the present, to the living in the change and growth of every moment that passes by.
And so, farewell October, and until next year!
Cheers!
Natalie
Friday, October 24, 2008
Introducing . . . the Five Browns LIVE!
Most if not all of you know that classical music, specifically piano and vocal, has been a huge part of my life for the past (apprx.) 12 years in counting. That stated, it was an incredibly lucky opportunity that my dear friend Elesha and I were able to attend a concert of the Five Browns -- five siblings (all gratuated from Julliard School of Music with Bachelor's and Master's degrees) -- playing in Van Wert, OH. The two of us were so excited we could only grin ear to ear at each other by the time we finally got into our seats. And wow...WHAT a concert!!
Of course I remembered to bring everything except my camera, naturally. So, after the performance, I had to resort to using my phone's camera to snap a shot at the siblings signing programs in a neat assembly line. (And yes, both E. and I have signed programs.) Normally, I'm not into that kind of thing, but there is nothing in the history of concert pianists that comes close to the novelty of a family with FIVE concert pianists! And they do play very well -- all highly virtuostic, both together and individually.
The concert itself was halved by an intermission -- each half beginning and ending with arrangements for the five monstrous Steinways together. My personal favorite was the duo that the two brothers, Gregory and Ryan Brown, played called Tarantella (named after, of course, the turantula.) Each Brown has their unique performing style, the three sisters' more visually passionate than the two brothers', but together they moved with the music as one family.
It's mind-boggling to me how not one, not two or three, but all five siblings from a single family can simultaneously be accepted into Julliard, one of the best music schools in the country, and succeed in the narrow road leading to a successful career as a concert pianist. Wow.
It was quite a treat for me, and I know for E. as well. I was afraid to blink for fear of missing something in the split second it took to close my eyes! A fun night indeed, and unthinkably inspiring and motivating.
Alright, I need to go practice.
Of course I remembered to bring everything except my camera, naturally. So, after the performance, I had to resort to using my phone's camera to snap a shot at the siblings signing programs in a neat assembly line. (And yes, both E. and I have signed programs.) Normally, I'm not into that kind of thing, but there is nothing in the history of concert pianists that comes close to the novelty of a family with FIVE concert pianists! And they do play very well -- all highly virtuostic, both together and individually.
The concert itself was halved by an intermission -- each half beginning and ending with arrangements for the five monstrous Steinways together. My personal favorite was the duo that the two brothers, Gregory and Ryan Brown, played called Tarantella (named after, of course, the turantula.) Each Brown has their unique performing style, the three sisters' more visually passionate than the two brothers', but together they moved with the music as one family.
It's mind-boggling to me how not one, not two or three, but all five siblings from a single family can simultaneously be accepted into Julliard, one of the best music schools in the country, and succeed in the narrow road leading to a successful career as a concert pianist. Wow.
It was quite a treat for me, and I know for E. as well. I was afraid to blink for fear of missing something in the split second it took to close my eyes! A fun night indeed, and unthinkably inspiring and motivating.
Alright, I need to go practice.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
The Proposal
So today, I thought I'd tell the story of how Caleb proposed, since I've told it many times (all differently, most likely) and to some, not at all! (And for that, I fervently beg forgiveness.)
It is a month and a day exactly that we've been engaged (where does the time go?), on September 20, at King's Island with both of our families (minus the moms, unfortunately.) Now, I had known it was coming, I knew he was going to propose soon, (but didn't know specifically obviously) and I think I'm generally a difficult person to mislead as far as surprises go, but this truly was cleverly done!
We arrived early in the morning to meet up with everyone around the time the gates opened, and wasted no time, starting with the Vortex -- my ultimate favorite! The morning passed quickly, one adrenaline boost after the other, as we exhausted ourselves with laughter, sprinting to water fountains, and running to the next roller coaster.
For those of you who have enjoyed the thrills of King's Island, I'm sure you're familiar with all the roller coasters and rides there. Well, there is one ride that is sort of like bungy jumping on a cable, and it hikes you up and then you drop, swinging like a pendulum (awesome!!!) Around lunch time, right before we went to the cars for our out-of-the-trunk picnic, Caleb suggested that the two of us go on this ride, and I enthusiastically agreed. We planned to go later in the afternoon; and after lunch, a few more coasters, and the deadly DropZone (or DropDead, whatever it was called) -- which I don't believe I will EVER have the stomach to brave again -- Caleb and I got harnessed and ready to fly.
I remember thinking that it was going to be the awesomest, scariest, most brain-dead thing ever (even though I didn't think it could be more stomach-plummeting than DropZone) but I was comforted knowing that I was doing it with Caleb, and it would just be a blast . . .
So, on this ride, you have to climb into a harness which is then attached to the cable (all done by the assistants), and you are hooked up vertically, dropped horizontally, and then gradually pulled up by the cable. Caleb and I were instructed to link arms, and I was flipping out (in a good way) the whole time, and he was just getting more and more excited by the second. The assistant said that when we got to the top, we could unlink our arms, to which I responded under my breath, "Or not . . ." And Caleb just chuckled as we were being pulled up further and further, and then said, "Well, you're gonna have to let go if you want to put this on." And I looked over at him and between his finger and thumb was a ring. A very sparkly, very gorgeous, very blindingly shiny ring. My brain jammed. "You did NOT . . ." was all that came out. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh . . ." was all I could say. I didn't know WHAT to say! "So is that a yeah?" he asked, beaming. "YES," I grinned.
And then the ring was on my finger, and down below, all our family started clapping and cheering and laughing and clicking pictures, and then we were FLYING. When we landed safely back to earth, Caleb turned to me and asked, "So, will you marry me?" And of course, I answered with another fervent "yes."
It was the most glorious moment to start the engagement chapter of our lives with such an exhilarating beginning . . . I think Caleb did an incredible job. I couldn't have been more surprised since he had been misleading me in saying it wouldn't be the King's Island day so that I would stop pestering him about proposing (sorry, Love). But now we are engaged, and have been for a day more than a month, and I am loving this new season of our relationship, learning more and more about each other, deepening our friendship, and preparing to be married!
I'll post some pictures of the ring, as soon as I get my act together and pick up my camera. But until then, here's the story of how he did it.
And that is the beginning of our journey!
It is a month and a day exactly that we've been engaged (where does the time go?), on September 20, at King's Island with both of our families (minus the moms, unfortunately.) Now, I had known it was coming, I knew he was going to propose soon, (but didn't know specifically obviously) and I think I'm generally a difficult person to mislead as far as surprises go, but this truly was cleverly done!
We arrived early in the morning to meet up with everyone around the time the gates opened, and wasted no time, starting with the Vortex -- my ultimate favorite! The morning passed quickly, one adrenaline boost after the other, as we exhausted ourselves with laughter, sprinting to water fountains, and running to the next roller coaster.
For those of you who have enjoyed the thrills of King's Island, I'm sure you're familiar with all the roller coasters and rides there. Well, there is one ride that is sort of like bungy jumping on a cable, and it hikes you up and then you drop, swinging like a pendulum (awesome!!!) Around lunch time, right before we went to the cars for our out-of-the-trunk picnic, Caleb suggested that the two of us go on this ride, and I enthusiastically agreed. We planned to go later in the afternoon; and after lunch, a few more coasters, and the deadly DropZone (or DropDead, whatever it was called) -- which I don't believe I will EVER have the stomach to brave again -- Caleb and I got harnessed and ready to fly.
I remember thinking that it was going to be the awesomest, scariest, most brain-dead thing ever (even though I didn't think it could be more stomach-plummeting than DropZone) but I was comforted knowing that I was doing it with Caleb, and it would just be a blast . . .
So, on this ride, you have to climb into a harness which is then attached to the cable (all done by the assistants), and you are hooked up vertically, dropped horizontally, and then gradually pulled up by the cable. Caleb and I were instructed to link arms, and I was flipping out (in a good way) the whole time, and he was just getting more and more excited by the second. The assistant said that when we got to the top, we could unlink our arms, to which I responded under my breath, "Or not . . ." And Caleb just chuckled as we were being pulled up further and further, and then said, "Well, you're gonna have to let go if you want to put this on." And I looked over at him and between his finger and thumb was a ring. A very sparkly, very gorgeous, very blindingly shiny ring. My brain jammed. "You did NOT . . ." was all that came out. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh . . ." was all I could say. I didn't know WHAT to say! "So is that a yeah?" he asked, beaming. "YES," I grinned.
And then the ring was on my finger, and down below, all our family started clapping and cheering and laughing and clicking pictures, and then we were FLYING. When we landed safely back to earth, Caleb turned to me and asked, "So, will you marry me?" And of course, I answered with another fervent "yes."
It was the most glorious moment to start the engagement chapter of our lives with such an exhilarating beginning . . . I think Caleb did an incredible job. I couldn't have been more surprised since he had been misleading me in saying it wouldn't be the King's Island day so that I would stop pestering him about proposing (sorry, Love). But now we are engaged, and have been for a day more than a month, and I am loving this new season of our relationship, learning more and more about each other, deepening our friendship, and preparing to be married!
I'll post some pictures of the ring, as soon as I get my act together and pick up my camera. But until then, here's the story of how he did it.
And that is the beginning of our journey!
Monday, October 20, 2008
October Morning
Have you ever woken up on the most amazing morning and had the feeling like you're going to regret it if you stay in bed a minute longer, but you still do because you're just too comfortable? It was one of those mornings for me. And today was an interesting day. The morning was gorgeous, and, until I got to work and started the day there, perfect.
I really love October mornings, and today was no different as far as fall scenery goes. Perfectly crisp, vividly colorful in every way, this morning presented itself in autumn glory as beautifully as they come. And as much as I wanted to get up and go for a run in the cool weather, naturally, I was too lazy to abandon my cozy bed. Finally, when I did summon the strength to get out of bed, I got ready for work, and headed to Ruby Tuesday, where I work as a server and hostess. This morning, I was serving.
To be entirely honest, I'm a much better hostess than I am a server, but I suppose that's to be expected when one has over a year of hostessing experience next to a few months of waitressing experience. Granted, I think I'm improving and I do enjoy it very much. Today, my first table was a trio of ladies who, after ordering their drinks and lunch, informed me hurriedly that they needed to be in and out in 25 minutes. And that was only the beginning of it. I am puzzled repeatedly as to why people in restaurants can be so impolite, unpleasant, or just plain callous, to get what they want under ridiculous circumstances. There should be etiquette for restaurant guests!
So the anxiety of serving a picky table which was only intentsified by one of my unnecessarily panicked managers -- coupled with the fact that I probably woke up on the wrong side of bed -- did not help me maintain my usually cheery demeanor this morning.
Luckily, work doesn't last forever, and I was soon freed. I do like working at Ruby Tuesday, don't get me wrong, but serving under the eye of this particular manager is rarely stress-free.
The rest of the day left me thinking of how on earth I could make myself a more pleasant person to be around since, quite clearly, moping and complaining about the morning I'd just endured wasn't going to make anybody's day. I read some more of a book (which I just finished tonight, finally) I'd been dragging out, and that helped me get out of my self-absorbed bubble a bit.
I think it's so easy to get wrapped up in one's self, and I really fell into that today. And all because one little thing tipped the balance of my whole ecosystem of security, concern, care, and confidence. That's really what got me thinking. How could I be so fickle, so petty, as to let one little thing bother me so much as to taint the rest of my day with my self pity? Then I thought, ok, wait. What is the root of this? How could it have started? I think it's my pride. When I discover that I'm good at something, I like to stick with it, because I know I'll eventually get praise for it. And I thrive on praise. Honestly, I do. It's a good thing as much as it is bad.
Pride. Something I cling to far too often. Something I am blinded by. And something that continues to trip me over and over again. And I didn't even realize what it was until I started writing this paragraph.
In the sense that I keep doing what I know I'm good at -- being a hostess, greeting people, smiling -- I think improving what you're talented at is a good thing. But I think it's even more impressive to improve and succeed at something you don't take to naturally. For me, it just might be multi-tasking, which is the fundamental skill of being a good server. I like doing a couple things at a time, and can handle doing a lot of things at one time too. But when you're new at dealing with tricky customers and figuring out what you can do (on the spot), that kind of skill on top of everything else is certainly a challenge for me.
So those are a few thoughts I had today. It was a good day. Surely, a day given by God, and I think today's purpose was to humble me and help me realize that all things are from God. ALL things. Even cranky customers.
I really love October mornings, and today was no different as far as fall scenery goes. Perfectly crisp, vividly colorful in every way, this morning presented itself in autumn glory as beautifully as they come. And as much as I wanted to get up and go for a run in the cool weather, naturally, I was too lazy to abandon my cozy bed. Finally, when I did summon the strength to get out of bed, I got ready for work, and headed to Ruby Tuesday, where I work as a server and hostess. This morning, I was serving.
To be entirely honest, I'm a much better hostess than I am a server, but I suppose that's to be expected when one has over a year of hostessing experience next to a few months of waitressing experience. Granted, I think I'm improving and I do enjoy it very much. Today, my first table was a trio of ladies who, after ordering their drinks and lunch, informed me hurriedly that they needed to be in and out in 25 minutes. And that was only the beginning of it. I am puzzled repeatedly as to why people in restaurants can be so impolite, unpleasant, or just plain callous, to get what they want under ridiculous circumstances. There should be etiquette for restaurant guests!
So the anxiety of serving a picky table which was only intentsified by one of my unnecessarily panicked managers -- coupled with the fact that I probably woke up on the wrong side of bed -- did not help me maintain my usually cheery demeanor this morning.
Luckily, work doesn't last forever, and I was soon freed. I do like working at Ruby Tuesday, don't get me wrong, but serving under the eye of this particular manager is rarely stress-free.
The rest of the day left me thinking of how on earth I could make myself a more pleasant person to be around since, quite clearly, moping and complaining about the morning I'd just endured wasn't going to make anybody's day. I read some more of a book (which I just finished tonight, finally) I'd been dragging out, and that helped me get out of my self-absorbed bubble a bit.
I think it's so easy to get wrapped up in one's self, and I really fell into that today. And all because one little thing tipped the balance of my whole ecosystem of security, concern, care, and confidence. That's really what got me thinking. How could I be so fickle, so petty, as to let one little thing bother me so much as to taint the rest of my day with my self pity? Then I thought, ok, wait. What is the root of this? How could it have started? I think it's my pride. When I discover that I'm good at something, I like to stick with it, because I know I'll eventually get praise for it. And I thrive on praise. Honestly, I do. It's a good thing as much as it is bad.
Pride. Something I cling to far too often. Something I am blinded by. And something that continues to trip me over and over again. And I didn't even realize what it was until I started writing this paragraph.
In the sense that I keep doing what I know I'm good at -- being a hostess, greeting people, smiling -- I think improving what you're talented at is a good thing. But I think it's even more impressive to improve and succeed at something you don't take to naturally. For me, it just might be multi-tasking, which is the fundamental skill of being a good server. I like doing a couple things at a time, and can handle doing a lot of things at one time too. But when you're new at dealing with tricky customers and figuring out what you can do (on the spot), that kind of skill on top of everything else is certainly a challenge for me.
So those are a few thoughts I had today. It was a good day. Surely, a day given by God, and I think today's purpose was to humble me and help me realize that all things are from God. ALL things. Even cranky customers.
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